Making Adjustments when Married

    Marriage is a big change! There are going to be a lot of changes after you get married. All of a sudden you are sharing everything with one person. You are going to learn new things about them all the time. There are lots of things that you are going to learn in the first month especially. Some of these things could be different eating habits, sleeping together, sharing space, cleanliness, organization, and different roles in the home that each person is used to. Responsibilities and schedules will have to change when you are married because now you have to work with someone constantly. More things will continue to be discovered. After the honeymoon phase of marriage more things are going to be learned. Discovering how a person needs to be comforted or reassured individually is a big one that is important to learn because it is going to be different than yourself. Learning these things can take lots of time and it is important that you talk to your partner about these things so there is a less likely chance of miscommunication or confusion. Another reason communication is so important is because people interpret things differently. For example, maybe you really enjoy down time to be alone and relax. A partner could interpret this as you don't want to hang out with them and maybe love them less. Talk to your partner and let them know how you are feeling and a lot of things that could have been a problem will be solved because you are both continuing to get to know each other and learn new things. It's important to be open to learning and growing because it will make the marriage a lot better. And it shouldn't be just one sided. Both partners will need to make a change, not just one accommodating to the other. Maybe you're used to doing everything independently on your own but now, you have a partner to rely on and help you. This is not an overnight adjustment, it is going to take lots of time. In some cases things like this can affect a marriage negatively but if both partners have an open mindset and open communication then going through trials and difficulties will strengthen your relationship rather than hurt it.

    Another question that inevitably comes up in marriage is children. It's important to talk and communicate about the want for children or the wait to have children and how many that you might want to have in the future. You are definitely going to learn more about your partner after having children and seeing different parenting styles. Developing good communication skills early in the marriage is crucial because you will need these skills especially after having children. Good communication should actually start in the dating phase as well but now, you have to accommodate another person a lot more than when you were just dating. However, it is important to view one's communication while dating. If effective communication isn't present early on in the relationship then it isn't going to just magically show up one day when you are married. When dating, look for these qualities in a partner and have an open mindset to learning and growing as well and your partner should be doing the same. So how do you practice good communication? The simplest way to put it is to talk! Let your partner know how you are feeling and come up with a plan to help what is happening. You will be glad that you did rather than sitting back and just feeling angry or annoyed with your partner having no idea why. Be prepared for change in marriage because it is not easy! But, even though it isn't easy it will be worth it and you can healthily spend your life with the person you love.