Divorce

    When you're married you could expect to be happy and in love forever because why wouldn't you want to be! However, of course, problems can come up. In the most severe cases these problems can cause an end in marriage, divorce. You have to work in marriage. Be careful not to make unrealistic expectations of marriage. To expect it to be fun and perfect all the time. This way when hard times hit you will be more prepared and resilient instead of quitting. 

    There are some facts about divorce that most people don't know. Hopefully after reading this you will want to work on your marriage more or think about how you can be better prepared for a future marriage or situation. If you want to look more into these facts and learn more about them read the book "Divorce Busting" by Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis. A lot of people say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. This is not true. It is actually less than 25%. Another myth mentioned in the book is the data on divorce because of infidelity. When asked if their partner cheated if they would divorce them or not the huge majority of people said that they would kick them to the curb so fast. However, 63% of American marriages that had an issue with infidelity chose to save their marriage. Additionally, 50% of these marriages are better and stronger now. Of course do not take this and think that it is better to cheat. That is absolutely NOT the case. Also sometimes divorce can be necessary depending on the situation especially if a person is in danger or someone continues to cheat and refuses to try. Those are just a couple of examples but it is all very situational. If you are able to save your marriage then you should try!

    A study was done where couples had to rank their marriage on a scale from very satisfactory to very unsatisfactory. They tracked the couples who said they were unsatisfactory or very unsatisfactory for five years. At the end of these five years they found that they now described their marriage as satisfactory or very satisfactory. Sticking it out and working through problems can help your marriage so much. It can take time but it will be worth it in the end. Time and effort in marriage is so important. A poll was taken with divorcees two years after a divorce. 70% of the people said that they should have and could have saved their marriage. Work for your marriage before it is too late and you regret it.

    Separation as Dr. Michele Weiner-Davis states is "probably the surest way to kill a marriage that is ailing." There are many common results of separation. These include increased hopelessness, resentment, blaming, decreased commitment, decreased support for the couple, and growing used to only being apart and not having to cooperate with someone else. These things will ruin your marriage! Working it out through communication and cooperation will help your marriage. Go to therapy if needed. Take a marriage class. These are great resources that you can go to to help your marriage. It will take lots of work and time but stick it out if you are willing and prepared. As mentioned previously, marriage is not all fun and games as some people can expect. It is hard but it is also extremely rewarding and worth it. You will get out of it what you put into it. I hope that as you have read this you will be willing to put more into your marriage, especially if you and your partner are struggling. Put time and work into it and use the resources around you.